I really don’t have enough time to be blogging right now, but though this was too good not to share. This e-mail is what several faculty (if not all) received this morning. I probably don’t have to tell you it is a scam e-mail, but this is one of the more hilarious ones I’ve seen:
We have been watching every single transaction you made since last year until this 2013 and you have to know that we are also working to make sure your funds which are suppose to be delivered to you, and also bear in mind that what ever you emailing us will be forward to the court. Also we are hereby to notify by the federal bureau of investigation Cotonou department of the insult you imposed on them by failing to comply by their requirements. Your full residential address has been forwarded to us for your immediate arrest to face your charge but I deemed it fit to give you one more chance to save yourself from this mess.
We have been told that you have failed to dance by the rule of the FBI which will warrant 2 years jail sentence. Now I john Robert Pikus the special agent in charge of the FBI Albany department I am giving you 24 working hours to effect the payment of the $98 usd. To the FBI in republic of Benin (fbi security) with the information written below:
Receiver: DONALD EMEKA
Country: Benin Republic
You have to try as much as you can and make this payment so that your funds will be delivered immediately to your destination. You have to stop every transaction you are communicating with other organization to avoid delay on the processing of your funds. Note that you? if you fail to stick with my advice or any delay will lead to us coming directly to your home address at any time, so try and dance by the rule and get back to me with good understanding ASAP.
Special Agent in Charge;
Mr. Robert Pikus
This e-mail has it all. Bad english, an e-mail address that makes no sense given the name of the person who sent the e-mail (Not even Robert Pikus, but john Robert Pikus), logical errors like the fact that this agent is in charge of the Albany FBI department, but is notifying us via an FBI department in Cotonou, Benin. I don’t think the FBI has any foreign departments given that they are the Federal Bureau of investigations, and they of course aren’t called department offices but bureau offices when talking about the FBI. There is some good old fashioned confusion here as well. Like why are we sending this money to Donald Emeka, what does “Test:…. Very?” actually mean, why $98 dollars, why is “Note that you?” a question, and do I have even enough information here to make such a payment?
Whenever I read this things I wonder who is falling for them still? Look I understand that initially it was going to fool people, especially older people with very little experience with technology, but for this one to have any chance of fooling anyone it would seem you had to live under a rock for the last 20 years, and you’d pretty much also have to have a severely reduced mental capacity to fall for this. Which makes people like this really the scum of the Earth to take advantage of those people. I know there is a lot of poverty in Africa and perhaps the west can be blamed for a lot of that, but people who are in a condition to fall for this scam probably don’t have much money to begin with and really probably aren’t the cause of your problems.
Finally, e-mails like this also make me ask the question, why are you so bad at scamming other people? I mean this is terrible work. Terrible. I mean technically I should be thankful because not very many people will fall for it, but it just seems like if you are the type of person who feels morally justified in scamming other people out of their money you have to come up with something better. I mean as a criminal you expect other people to feel disappointed in your morality, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have pride in your work. Because now I am also just disappointed in your intelligence. I mean everybody will still think you’re horrible, but couldn’t you at least make people say “This person is horrible…but boy that was one hell of a good scam. I would have fallen for it myself if the scam hadn’t been exposed”. I mean this is what you should be aiming for as a con man. Are there no e-mail con classes going on in Africa right now. Are there no older rich mentors who, having made their money during the Nigerian Prince days, could be helping some of these youngsters out? I mean it can’t be easy making sure this e-mail doesn’t go directly to junk mail and into my inbox, and I just feel like the same effort should go into the content of the e-mail itself.
You’ve brought shame to your profession and possibly the FBI Donald Emeka!